you know the feeling of when you remember something, and its not necessarily a bad memory, but you just hate the thought that merely that's all it is? a memory. and how bad you wish you could take back whatever made it into one. the feeling where you remember something so good that it hurts so bad to think that its gone.
the brain is a strange thing...you forget the things that you want to remember, and you remember the things you wish you could forget. one of the worst feelings in the world is remembering something that was so good and then realizing that the reason it's gone is because of something you did.
yes, everything does happen for a reason i do believe that more than anything. but sometimes i find myself wondering what it would be like if i would have chosen something different.
wouldn't it be nice if when placed in a sticky situation where we had to choose between two things and we were unsure which to choose, we could just yell, "PAUSE!" choose one and see the outcome, and then go back and choose the other and decide which one based on what we'd experienced? life would be so much easier!
i sound depressed and unhappy, when in all reality i could not be any happier. how could i not be? i found the love of my life because of decisions that i have made and i would never take those back, i am in such a good place in my life and i only have my past to thank me for that.
everything we do in life is to help us learn and grow. and i think that is why we "remember". why its so hard to get the past out of our heads. and why its so easy to forget the little joys of life. because if we didn't remember the mistakes we have made in life, then how could we ever change? how could we ever feel remorse for making someone feel the way you did? yes, it hurts. but the hurt is good. and for that, i am grateful.
till next time,
demi
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