Monday, April 2, 2012

.one of those brad paisley kind of nights.
you know those nights, when you over think just a little too much? when you lay in bed and listen to those songs that you know will bring on the tears? just so that you can get all of the hidden feelings out and put it behind you? yup. last night was one of those nights for me for sure.when you literally think of EVERYTHING. everything said to you, everything in the past, present, future,nothing at all, and you can't help that your mind takes over and there's no going back. sometimes it's good to be able to do that and get it all out. i blame most of it on a little word i like to call PMS. then again most of it is hidden feelings. honestly this weekend should have been so much fun! but it wasn' sucked without my best friend here too on top of everything that happened. then again if he would have been here, i don't think i would have gotten in out like i needed to. sometimes i'm grateful for long lonely nights. just me, myself, my thoughts, and tears.

crying is probably one of God's most greatest creations. if i had no other way to get my feelings out, i'd be screwed. i know for a fact i would turn to other things that i would regret.sometimes hurting is the best way to heal what you're going through. i honestly just cranked up brad paisley, wrote in my journal and just bawled. but when i got done, i felt so much better. it was one of the strangest nights! ha i have NEVER cried that hard in my entire life..i woke up to my mom laying next to me, and i asked her why she came in, and she said she woke up to me crying in my sleep and it broke her heart so she came in and slept with me. so sweet..i love that women. me and her have honestly gotten so close. i love it.she knows me better than i know myself's great. i don't even have to tell her what's wrong anymore, she just knows before i say anything.i think i need a counselor or something..ha but then again, who the flip doesn't? we all have hidden feelings and things that we need to get over, a little bit of regret or guilt we feel that just eats at's life.

anyway..enough with the pity story..on the bright side of what seems to be all of this gloom, landon kade got home today! i'm so happy:) he was supposed to come home last night, thank GOD it got postponed to today, i would hate for him to see me like that. let alone have to deal with that psycho-MESS. i'm honestly so glad he's home was one rough weekend. dallin's party at Chuck-E-Cheese is tonight! honestly cannot wait! love dallin. he's the sweetest. 14 straight years of Chuck-E-Cheese and his face still beams at the thought of it. he's such a good kid. anyway sorry to bore you all with my thoughts. but before you go, take a quick peak at some quotes behind my feelings at the moment..

"Cling to your imperfections, they are what make you unique."
"I have learned more from my mistakes than from my successes."

"Never regret anything, because at one point you wanted it."

"Sometimes the littlest thing in life changes something forever and there will be times when you wish you can go back to how things used to be but you just can't because things have changed so much."

"Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash! Fall in love. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at a stupid joke. Cry. Get revenge. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell the asshole what you feel. Let someone know what theyre missing. Laugh til your stomach hurts. LIVE LIFE!"

"Never regret something that once made you smile." 

well, thats all for now folks. till next time, later.


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