Monday, January 28, 2013

BEEN DAYS...
 
 
 
 
i feel so out of this whole blogging thang lately. it's like i have so much to say, so much going on that i don't know what is okay to write about and not anymore!
 
 
be prepared for a ramble sesh...
first of all, happiness is a choice. i flipping hate that. honestly. nothing is more annoying than having to choose to be happy when you have 19348723912837 reasons not to be.
 
i guess that's when you suck it up and find the 1239827391283713 reasons TO be.
 
i was sitting in church yesterday, and i thought to myself, life is crazy. it honestly is. sometimes i honestly wonder if it's a joke! where you at ashton kutcher?
 
the situations i have managed to get myself into lately are so unreal....
 
 
why do we as humans always tend to crave things that aren't right for us? i never have come to a full understanding of that....
 
work is honestly getting so old! same ish different day type stuff..
 
on the bright side i have had so much ME time lately. that is, when i'm not at work, or hangin with mah girls...but that seems to feel like a lot now more than ever. i have a love/hate relationship with the thing. i sometimes get in really bad arguments with my mind that i can't seem to win, and that starts to get super frustrating.......
 
BUT i have used the time to discover some amazing new music and thats always a plus!
 
i've been going on dates for days...which as bratty as it sounds are SO hard for me to enjoy. i almost just want to be straight up and say, don't even try anything!! i'm not interested! cause that is how i really feel....
 
i'm working on, taking things slow. because i have never really done that before. i've always rushed things. i'm trying so hard not to get too close to people...which i can't tell if that is good or bad.. but i figured my heart could use a little break from all the seriousness that comes with being serious? if that makes sense at all...
 
 
i really am finding who i am through all of this. which really is a good thing for me. i'm learning the things i really love, and the things i really hate. i'm figuring out what qualities i like in a person, and which ones i have and which ones need some work! and i really am growing.
 
i've said, done, and thought some pretty crazy stupid things out of hurt to people i love, which isn't like me at all. and i've realized how important it is to be careful with that. life is so fragile, and so dang short. aint nobody got time for that!
 
i've felt like the biggest grump lately! i freaking hate that! i hate that i am so short-fused lately from stress....even so, where as a simple question will get me fired up! meditation is needed here badly...it's been way too long.
 
 
is it really only monday right now? goodness....it is going to be one long week!
 
 
 
 
 
xoxo demi
 
 

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