Monday, April 22, 2013


one of those emotional roller coaster kind of days/weeks/months.
hold on tight.

why do we get put in situations in the time and places that we do? why do sudden thoughts rush to our minds of things we haven't thought about in days? and why do memories come flooding in all at once when all we're trying to do is flush them out?

all of these things have absolutely been racking my brains lately! WHY?

why i always feel the need to spell it all out to all of you here on my personal blog and fill you in on my craziness of a brain lately, is beyond me. maybe to hopefully get better answers? i don't maybe be proven to be sane. i can't be the only one wondering the things that i wonder. that's my hope in unleashing the trails of thoughts in this mind of mine..

why did i decide to go 80's dancing a couple months ago when i absolutely DESPISE dances?
why did i start talking to people that i knew had hard feelings toward me despite knowing me, and now can honestly call them some of my closest friends?
why do i text people i shouldn't and tell them that i miss them, and love them?
why do i feel so confused all the time with what to do?

i mean there has to be a reason that we do the things we do. i'm a #1 believer of agency. i believe that there is an over all plan, but i also believe that you can do things to mess up the pathway that is easiest for you to get to where you need to be. you choose the path you take. whether or not you end up where you are supposed to and live up to your fullest potential is completely up to you.

it's hard when the one thing going so right for you for the first time in the longest time all of the sudden just doesn't feel right anymore. maybe i'm being punished. maybe God is sending a subliminal message to me saying "Demi, wake up!" i guess i could have a contant hunch for why things happen all the time, but that will never truly change the outcome.

happiness is key. it's what this life is about. so regardless of what is constantly going on around me, happy i shall be.  {no, that line that just flowed through my fingers was not intended to come out as a cheesy rhyme. it happens}

xoxo demi

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

SEE THIS DOOD?  >>>------->>------------------------------>>

 time for him to catch up on some sleep! poor guy...sucha sweetie

not only did this boy nurse me back to health like my own mother would this whole entire week,
but i truly have never met a sweeter, more talented, more genuine, honest, loyal, caring and humble person in my entire life. this guy is IT i tell ya.........

i honestly can't believe i am still alive!! most brutal thankful i had blake and his parents to take care of me! such a blessing.

xoxo demi
i forgot how much i love

>>the smell of freshly cut grass
>>the sound of ben harpers voice
>>the taste of freshly squeezed lemonade
>>how often i use ranch as a condiment
>>my feet touching someone else's feet
>>going to the mall, even if it's just to people watch
>>walk around barefoot
>>jump into the arms of loved ones
>>say as well as hear the words, "i love you"
>>to kiss!!!
>>eat whatever i want, when i want to.
>>chick fil a
>>del taco
>>swedish fish
>>listening to music
>>taking pictures
>>playing the piano and singing
>>watching movie series
>>to cry
>>to laugh
>>to think
>>to read

to be myself. something in my path from point A to point B i have lost the best parts of me. honestly who i am. and it makes me sad. im the biggest advocate of change! what a blessing it is to be able to change. to recognize the things you don't like and to be able to make improvements as well as physically grow up. come out of those awkward stages, and become YOU. but i think that a lot of what we do, what we enjoy really becomes a part of who we are and what we want to define us.

yes, all of those things are indeed THINGS. but they are the things that set me apart from everyone else around me.

it's the simple things like while i'm ordering a lemonade, she's ordering a diet coke.
and while i'm listening to some bon iver, he'd prefer to jam out to free weez.

i guess i've just found it important, especially as of lately with the way this world works, to really try to be myself, to really set myself apart from everyone else. not in some big, drastic, emo, dramatic type of way. simply in a way that makes demi, demi. and to not stop and think or care for a second what anyone has to say about it. to just simply be me. i'm bout it.

one of those nights.

xoxo demi