Monday, April 30, 2012

 i PiTY THE FOOL who..
▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲
↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓

◘takes advantage of someones love for them
◘isn't sensitive to others feelings
lies
◘cheats
◘puts themselves above others
◘doesn't care
◘sits around waiting on the world to change
◘lives for others
◘isn't happy

jokes on you
do you not understand how perfect this girl is? 
do you HONESTLY feel like YOU could do better?
do you seriously think you are worth it to her, 
enough that you can lie, hide, and control her?
no. and i know you know that.
so why?
seriously tell me why on Gods green earth you think you can
do whatever the hell you want and expect her to come back to you
once you've realized your stupidity.
grow up, and realize what you have!
seriously GOLD.
good luck finding that ANYWHERE else in any of the sleeze bags you've hit!
you think you're cool? you think you're funny?
do you like the constant chase?
do you like making people feel less than you?
we all know you're insecure,
but how dare you try to bring someone SO above you, down
just to make you feel better.
you're the bastard i knew i'd have to hate.
congratulations.
you lost the best thing that could have happened to you, for good this time.
screw you.

Friday, April 27, 2012

{meeting land for lunch. love the kid.}

down to 12 ARC's and 3 seminary make  ups...

who knew it was possible? graduation could not come any sooner..
{the best friend and i}

this sweetie came over last night around 9:30 on HER weekend (she doesn't have school on friday's) with all of her stuff to sleepover cause i was needing a friend last night bad. i called her and she new instantly what i needed, all she said 5 seconds into the phonecall was, "i'm grabbing my food to go and i'll be right over!" sure enough, she was over in a flash....so sweet. i love her.
we laughed so hard and talked and talked....and talked for days! finally fell asleep around midnight and then woke up and she came to school with me :) she's the best! THAT'S a best friend for you right there..

we ditched first, CLASSIC and got breakfast.

went to P.E. sat there and then wondered what the heck we were doing in there and bailed.

now we're in study hall bloggin it up together.

love my best friend.




Thursday, April 26, 2012

THERE ARE TWO THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN A RELATIONSHIP:

you either....................


get married.
or
break up.

thats it. no exceptions.
THIS ISN'T A GAME

this is my heart. this is your heart. this is LOVE.

we work together, always. this isn't a one sided decision..no. i'm sorry, you don't get off that easy. and it WILL be a team effort.....to the end. or to forever.

are you in or out?

{ummm...that's quite embarrassing}

i was sitting in class while listening to "ours" by Taylor Swift and i was reading along with the lyrics and right when it got the the chorus the girl sitting next to me  asked me a question and for some odd reason i decided to reply with "SO DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR PRETTY LITTLE MIND, PEOPLE THROW ROCKS AT THINGS THAT SHIIIIIIIIIZ......thats awkward" indeed it was...

 i think it's time to cut back on he music for a while..it's getting to me. yesterday i was laying in bed for a second after showering and there wasn't any music on and i stopped, and literally started crying (taken it hasn't been the best week, my thoughts got the best of me..) sure enough, i turned on "then" by Brad Paisley and my soul was instantly healed. music liberates me.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

dearest natalie anne...

first of all you, you are my very best friend. 10 years this june. i feel like i've known you my entire life. you are my other half. when you hurt, i hurt, when you're mad, i'm mad, when you're happy, i'm happy :) and y'all ready know that when YOU laugh, i can't refrain from laughter...it's utterly contagious. --the trouble we have gotten in because of that one........p r i c e l e s s.

remember five or so years ago when we promised each other that we would NEVER let any boy come between us? and that we would be best friends forever? that when we got married, we would live right next to each other and still see each other every day? well, i can't promise you that we will live next to each other in matching anthropology houses, or even in the same state, and that we will see each other every day, and i can't promise that a boy won't come between us, because it's happened before and i can guarantee it will again..but you know what? i CAN promise you that i will be there every time that boy makes you cry and breaks your heart, and i can promise that NO MATTER WHAT, we will  a l w a y s be best friends as long as you allow me to be.

alright, now down to the truth......i'll admit now and forever that i envy you. BIG TIME. sin or not, i wish i were you sometimes! you are absolutely B E A U T I F U L and any girl who says differently, is clearly jealous. you are seriously one of the most amazing, strong girls i have EVER met. sure, a lot has happened and you're not perfect, don't you ever let those imperfections bring you down. those imperfections are what make you, you. any guy would be lucky to have you, he would be getting the complete package. a kind, sweet, loving, good, CLEAN, girl. you deserve the best. and you will find it! i promise you. you will be blessed for being the kind of girl you are. be patient.

 let go of the things that are holding you back.
BE YOU. and do not let ANYONE change you, for any reason.


"You can't just cling on to something because it's familiar."

it'll be hard, and you might feel like you will regret it....but 10 years from now when you look back, you will thank yourself for being brave enough to let go of something that you didn't need and only held on to because of the two years that were familiar to you.


lastly.......you'll  feel alone. you'll hate him. you'll hate yourself. and he will try to convince you that he hates you and 'never loved you'... well good riddance...you don't need that crap anyway. keep your chin up. ps. you most definitely will NOT be alone. you have me. you have your family, and you have the lord. be the strong girl i know you are.

all i can do is laugh when i think about everything we have gone through up until now....how hard we have made each other laugh, how hard we've made each other cry, and how many times we have held each other while we cried over some dumb bastard...ha ha! this May we'll be graduating from high school and i'm sick that we aren't walking together....we should both be walking through that golden 'O' together...but it's okay, cause that night i'll be snuggs down in bed with you and we'll FINALLY be able to call each other 'roommates'. i love you natalie anne tueller. to the moon and back! one of ours. i would do anything for you, and i will ALWAYS be there for you, good decisions or bad. i'll be there to have your back when those girls say things to you out of jealousy..and when those boys that realize you are too good for them say things out of insecurity. always and forever. i promise.

love, your best friend.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

hard. but true.





'sometimes you just have to say what's in your heart, not just what you think someone wants to hear.'

phases of the moon

....phases of life....

Like being in love, there must be a corresponding painful side like losing in love, it's just a fact of life.
 <--------------------<<>>-------------------->
 Love? It's kind of complicated, but I'll tell you this--the second you're willing to make yourself miserable to make someone else happy, that's love right there.
 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Love is putting up with someone's bad qualities because they somehow complete you.
 //://://://://://://://://://://://://://:
Too often we don't realize what we have until it's gone... too often we wait too long to say "I'm sorry, I was wrong"

Monday, April 23, 2012

denial is such a cop out...
i consider it a lie.
a lie that only hurts yourself.


i don't see the point in denial.
denying the feelings you once felt.
--whether it be for someone, something.
denial is a weakness.
  strength is being able to admit. 


in denial you'll find it harder to let go.
   once you admit, you've accepted the change.



"When someone you love becomes a memory,
 the memory becomes a treasure."


you don't forget for a reason.
you make mistakes and remember them so that you don't do it again. 
you fall in love with the wrong people.
and then you fall out of love.
but you were IN love.
in denying it, you're not even fooling yourself. 



 "never deny something that once made you smile."

 && 

"never regret anything. because at one point, it is exactly what you wanted"

do you.


quote of the day--because i'm obsessed.
....................................

“Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

Thursday, April 19, 2012

^{QUOTE}^{QUOTE}^{QUOTE}^
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::
SOME OF MY MOST FAVORITE QUOTES. FROM SOME OF MY MOST FAVORITE PEOPLE.

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe



“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.”
― Robert Frost



“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
― H. Jackson Brown Jr.
 
 
 
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
― Oscar Wilde
 
 
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou



“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Apple Inc.



“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
― Marilyn Monroe



“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
― Oscar Wilde



“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
― Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn 



“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche


 “There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”
― Sarah Dessen



“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
 
 
 
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
― Helen Keller
 
 
D U H.
{bath tubbin it}


so i got asked to prom last night! yay! :) i am honestly so excited. it should be way fun! finn asked me with a TON of glow sticks..so what did i do? yup. you guessed it! took a glow stick bath at midnight! just what i needed :) thank you finn!



Wednesday, April 18, 2012

LAND AND I RODE HIS MOTOR CYCLE UP TO THIS SWEET LITTLE PLACE. IT WAS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.


<<>>:::TIBBLE FORK:::<<>>
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
....................................................

















those dimples........THAT SMILE. melts me.

between the craziness of life's daily happenings.
between school.
between me and my boo.

you must find time for yourself.

you must find time in your busy schedule to just

{B E  S T I L L . . .}

i was sitting in my room a few nights ago. landon was in costa rica, and i was probably waiting for a call or an email letting me know that he was indeed still alive, and not eaten by a shark, [or better yet by some hungry costa rican!] when i realized how crazy life had been recently...and how i hadn't just sat and thought in so long. that i hadn't done ME for a while..

mcklendon and i came up with a list of c r a z y things that had happened just even in the past couple weeks. seriously, i didn't know that there could be so much news thrown at me in so little time! 

we all know the overwhelming feeling of the thought of how much needs to be done, things said and done to you, other peoples problems being somehow placed in your hands, etc. i mean, most of the time i feel like each of us have enough to worry about. it's weird to think that people find that as the most inviting time to place another obligation on your shoulders.......sorry! WRONG.

we each have to struggle through our own problems or we will never learn...after all isn't that why we are here in the first place? to learn? speaking of learning, feeling stressed, what a better way to relieve it then by reading the scriptures? while thinking of everything i had to do, and becoming very frustrated and overwhelmed i looked over and saw my scriptures sitting on my night stand, picked them up, dusted them off [i usually read from my phone] and opened them up randomly to this scripture:

1 Nephi 1:11-12

honestly perfect for me right now. seems kind of random, but it talks about the scriptures giving you answers and strength. and who doesn't need strength and answers when you are constantly questioning. i'm a senior in high school, i've been dating someone seriously now for almost 8 months, and life started 18 years ago..this is just when my decisions become permanent. why would you ever decide something life changing with out counsel?


anyway...this is getting loooong and personal.

did i mention i have 36 ARC's to do and an english credit to make up before graduation....if i calculate correctly, there are 30 days left of school.....36 > 30...uh yeah. im screwed! wish me luck! till next time snitches. later

love demi

Monday, April 16, 2012


can't wait to kiss this beautiful face today! 

seriously though. it's been waaaaay too long.

love him.
<<<F I N A L L Y>>>

its been 8 days.
192 long hours.
and a lot has happened.
so get ready for this post..

first off, i am pleased to announced that landon kade is on his way home! holy hell i missed my boo! i swear he leaves me every other week..NO MORE. it sucks so bad.

although, this spring break was filled with many adventurous nights, and lots of friends to enjoy them with, nothing would have been better than having landon join. after all, he is my very BEST FRIEND. 

while landon was enjoying the incredible sunsets and daily surf of costa rica, i sat at home, in orem/provo/SL UT and partook in what every other person did and simply, shopped, ate, danced, sang, drove, ate, slept, layed out, ate and im pretty sure thats all there is to do...

okay, don't get me wrong. i had a blast! i really did. i played with mcklendon, brett, hayden, mckell, danny and morgan every single day! and there honestly wasn't one dull moment:) we were constantly laughing and having a great time! i basically lived at alpine villiage for the weekend (thank you mckell and morgan) it was so much fun!

i spent W A Y too much money, laughed W A Y too hard, ate W A Y too much, but it was S O worth it!

i know this might sound bad, but i think its good for landon and i to get space from each other every once in a while.. it's like when you take a vacation with your best friend and you're staying in the same hotel room as them for a week, and you think it's going to be the best thing ever! and then you kind of get sick of each other after the third night and you just want to go home.

IM NOT SAYING I GET SICK OF LANDON. but sometimes it's good for relationships to take a breather and live your own lives for a week or two, whether it's in costa rica, or at home. hang out with those friends that you blow off constantly to be with your boo. hang out with your girls and talk about everything. it makes you appreciate them so much more when you realize how much you miss them and want to be with them, and they aren't there. it's also a good opportunity to show your true colors and to either gain or lose trust. show how loyal you really are/aren't.

you realize how often you may take them for granted, and how much better you could be to them! i'm grateful for time and space. it's a great thing. 

ummm kay. so i'm still in shock, i still don't believe it one bit, but i was informed last night at the dinner table that.. (drum roll please) MY MOTHER IS PREGNANT!! WTF? okay if you think this is the least bit normal, it most definitely is not! haha first of all, my youngest sibling is 14 years old, my mom is 41 years old and has a 22 year old...not okay! all i can do is laugh..it seriously does not feel real..haha i'm sick..but excited at the same time. the names we have picked out are pretty cute i'm not going to lie..

if its a boy:
 (my moms pretty positive its a boy)

jaden blake kee
indie james kee
nolan james kee
 kai james kee
 
my dads ideas:

mon kee
don kee
spun kee
FAIL

(real clever pops)
  
if it's a girl:

jayden blake kee
                        brooklyn marie kee (bry's vote. hate it)

we have some major work to do.
 

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

blogging it while watching mcklendon and hayden play fifa

<c l a s s i c>


HAYD AND I HAVE JUST BEEN KICKIN IT ALL DAY PRETTY MUCH. WE CAME TO HIS HOUSE. PLAYED WITH HIS DOG. WENT AND GOT A DRINK FROM SONIC. CAME BACK. ATE MUDDY BUDDIES. MADE 
A VID LIKE OLD TIMES. THEN MCKLENDON CAME OVER AND I'VE BEEN NEGLECTED EVER SINCE. WELCOME TO MY SPRING BREAK. COME HOME NATALIE. COME HOME LANDON. I MISS MY BEST FRIENDS.


<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:^:
.<.<.<.<.<.<.<.<.<.<.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>.>
.MEET DAKOTA.

hayds new pup dakota is THEE cutest pup in the world! i am in love. she's just snugs up next to me while I'm bloggin it. look how cute she is ------------------->



<----------------------OBSESSED.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

..one of those days..
------------------------
bored.as.fuh.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
::::::::::::::::::::::::





<--------this is what happens when all of your best friends leave you over spring break...
K I L L YO SELF!

love love LOVE my kell bell:) 


morgie and mckell on morgans birthday! love these girls to death!
THIS is where landon is right now....so freaking jealous.










c o s t a. r i c a.

or as tanner would say it... R O S T A C I C A:)
m I s s I n G.   mY.  boo.

7 days left of this lonely lonely journey.

luckily i have good friends to help speed it up and make me have a good time:)

landon kade..please OH PLEASE stop leaving me..

it sucks to always have your best friend gone..trust me.

[i.w o u l d.k n o w.]
T. O. D. A. Y.
woke up

cleaned my room

did ALL of my laundry 

showered

got ready for work

went to work

got sent home an hour later cause we weren't busy

made hayden a crepe

hayden picked me up

went to hayds and played with his new pup dakota:)

watched a little bit of a red sox game (of course)

landon called me and talked to me for a bit:) 

went to joey's

talked to his dad for days. funniest guy!

went to zupas, had a good talk.

went back to joes. had an even better talk;) hahah

ate hells candy

watched lie to me

wrestled

laughed

went home

blogged

now its off to bed so i can start all over tomorrow

night snitches!

p.s. i miss my best friend landon kade. 1 day down, 7 more to go!

Friday, April 6, 2012


[welcome to my life]




////...../////.....////.....//////.....////....//.....////....///....../////...///.....///....//.....////......//////......////../////.....////..///..///...////
thank.the.lord.it's.friday.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
..................................................................................................................................................................

today's agenda:

.school.
.pick up my paycheck.
.drive to landons apartment.
.take pictures up at tibble fork.
.go to zupas.
.learn to drive a stick shift.
.play with the homies.
.maybs hit up sammy's.
.maybs bowl or just kick it.
.hot tub? sure.
.get hells treats. popcorn, duh.
.head back to lands.
.watch taken.
.sesh it? hahah.
.snugs.
.sleep it.
.duh.
 
.songs that came on this morning on shuffle while bloggin it.
__________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________
<><><><><><><><><>:<>:<>:<>:<><><><><><><><><>

lasso--phoenix

somebody that i used to know--goyte

walking on a dream--empire of the sun

we are the people--empire of the sun

the thrill--wiz khalifa&empire of the sun

 holocene--bon iver<3

swallowed in the sea--coldplay

Thursday, April 5, 2012

[wHAt][strikes][my][fANcy]
...<><><><><><><<<<<>>>>><><><><><><>...

the universe

little houses

kisses

black n white pictures

love n birds

polaroid pictures

zac efron

california.harbor.sail boats.sunsets.ocean