Thursday, May 17, 2012

stay positive

through all of the things that have been going on lately, i really have been so proud of myself.

sure, the first few days were hell. it's still way hard without him but wanna know something?

it's forcing me to the realization that i have a lot to be grateful for. 

•a loving family, up there and on earth. 

•i have loving friends that are very supportive of me and comfort me.

•i have the best friend i think any one could ever have. two of them actually...natalie anne
 & dallin cameron.
aint nothin better.

◘natalie and i have just been talking each others ears off these past five days. and i love it.
we've had a sleepover every night, and that's helped a lot.
i can't be left alone, my mind starts to get to me and i lose it. i haven't left nats side. literally. we have done EVERYTHING besides school together..
even then, we find a way to ditch the hell hole and be together. she's my other half.

◘i went and visited dallin at school the other day, and i have never seen a bigger smile!
seriously it made me cry...i love him so much! he is honestly the number one reason that
 keeps me going. i am so blessed to have a brother like him. he makes me laugh, he makes me cry,
he makes me love, he makes me freak out some times, but he forces me to be human.
to be me. to FEEL even when i hurt and can sometimes feel so numb. i am eternally grateful 
for someone so special in my life.

i love these two more than anything in this world and am so grateful for them.

•i have music to fill my soul when i feel so empty at night.

•i have the gym, the ability to run and work out! ha i went on a long run last night 
and it felt SO good. i had a nice hard work out right after and i feel great today.
fact: exercise releases endorphins that make you feel better about yourself and make
you feel happy --very true. i'm running and working out EVERY night. one of ours.

•i have prayer, i have the lord, i have scriptures, and i have someone that knows
EXACTLY what i am going through. i am so grateful for that. it helps me to not
feel so alone..

•I'M MF GRADUATING. school and seminary. and i am seriously so glad that
i stuck it out and am finally two weeks away from graduation :) no better feeling.

there is honestly so much to be grateful for at this time in my life. 

why would i ever waste my time dwelling on things?

i need to be living my life, loving it and everyone that IS in it, and hope that if i continue on the right path i'll be blessed with what is best for me.

 that's all i have control over right? my attitude. i believe that more than anything. the rest will pan out how it's supposed to, and i'll just have to accept that :)

well everyone, have a wonderful day. till next time,

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